Peak humour editor editorializes editorially
It was with surprise and dismay that I learned I am scheduled to write the Peak editorial this week.
What should I write about? I suppose I could write about my attempts to convince The Peak to stop accepting cigarette advertising, which is something I feel very strongly about. But I won’t.
I have decided instead to do something much less thought-intensive. Join me now on a shocking exposé of the secret and glamourous world of me, the Peak humour editor.
Probably the most interesting part of my job is the abuse. How many jobs can you think of where you can sit down for a relaxing evening of e-mail and find yourself reading something like this?
To: Glen Callender
Subject: YOU MOTHER FUCKER.
Dear FUCK HEAD,
You dare insult the Aga Khan like that in your shit-ass horoscope?
You’re gonna get in a lot of trouble you piece of shit. I am personly [sic] going to make sure you’re removed from the Peak’s writing staff, and as I am typing this e-mail, I am also typing a letter to the Dean of the University.
The Aga Khan is a religious pinacle [sic], and you have no right tto (sic) insult his name. I suggest you grow up and be prepared to suffer the consequences.
-SFU Student
Now, I am not an expert at reading people, but I get the feeling that the author of the above anonymous letter does not entirely like the job I am doing as the Peak humour editor.
By referring to me by the common derogatory terms “MOTHER FUCKER” and “FUCK HEAD, ” he seems to be expressing a certain degree of distaste for me as a person; by referring to my beloved horoscope as “shit-ass” in nature, I get the distinct impression that he does not enjoy my work; and with his promise that “I am personly [sic] going to make sure you’re removed from the Peak’s writing staff, ” I think it is a safe assumption that he has a certain antagonism to the notion of my continued employment at The Peak.
Oh well. I guess this just goes to show that no matter how hard you try, you simply can’t please everybody.
Aside from the anonymous hate mail from semi-literate cowards, there are other interesting aspects to being the Peak humour editor. Like most celebrity types, I notice that when people meet me in public they usually say the same thing. In my case, it’s “Man, the comics in The Peak suck.”
Well, I have put a lot of thought into this, and in my official capacity as Peak humour editor, I would like to officially respond to this sentiment. My response is this:
Well, duh.
Of course most of our comics suck in comparison to others you may have read. Why? Because most Peak cartoonists are unpaid amateurs who draw comics on the side while they go to school. It really shouldn’t come as much of a shock to see that their stuff isn’t as good as acclaimed career cartoonists whose work appears in newspapers and magazines all over the continent.
Here at The Peak we give SFU students an opportunity to draw comics, often for the first time in their lives, and see them in print. For some, this is a chance to discover their hidden talent. For others, this is a chance to discover their obvious lack of talent.
After The Peak, most will probably never draw comics again. But a few will keep going, and you might be seeing them again someday. After all, many a famed cartoonist got started drawing shitty comics for a student newspaper.
All I can say is, if you think the comics we print in The Peak suck, you wouldn’t believe the stuff we don’t print.
Soon you will all learn the horrible truth. Soon will come the day when I shall startle and appall you all by opening the vaults and printing some of the most pestilent comic submissions The Peak has ever seen.
Watch for a special feature entitled The Worst of the Peak Comics, coming to The Peak later this semester.
In closing, if you are one of those overcritical twits who complains about the quality of the amateur comics in this paper, you are more than welcome to submit some comics of your own.
And I would also like to suggest that the rest of The Peak is at least as bad as the comics—it’s just not as easy to tell at a glance. Trust me, if you take the time and effort to read The Peak cover to cover, I’m sure you’ll see that the paper sucks more or less uniformly. I guarantee it. •
Originally published in The Peak, February 21 2000.
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